Trigger warning: Story discusses family violenceEditorial: : In the wake of the Lake Cargelligo tragedy, our communities are asking what we can actually do to prevent domestic violence. Here’s how every person can make a difference, including who to write to and campaigns to support. IN SHORT:• Three lives lost in Lake Cargelligo has left rural NSW devastated and asking hard questions about domestic violence. • This article explores practical actions every community member can take, from recognising warning signs to supporting victims to writing to your local MP, because doing nothing is no longer an option.• Resources at the bottom of the article including support agency contact numbers and MP addressesThe news from Lake Cargelligo hit our region like a physical blow. Three people dead. Another fighting for life. A community shattered. And across the Central West, the Riverina, and beyond, the same sick feeling of helplessness washing over us all. We’ve been here before, haven’t we? Another domestic violence tragedy. Another round of shock and grief. Another vigil, another statement from politicians, another promise that things will change. And then life goes on until the next time, and we’re left wondering why we couldn't stop it, why we didn’t see it coming, why nothing ever seems to get better despite all the awareness campaigns and all the hashtags and all the talk. But here’s the uncomfortable truth that nobody wants to say out loud. Most of us genuinely don’t know what to do. We’re not helpless because we don’t care. We’re helpless because we’ve never been taught how to actually help. We see the statistics. We know it’s happening. We might even suspect it’s happening next door or down the road or to someone we know. But when it comes to taking action, real action that might actually save a life, most of us freeze. So, let’s talk about what we can actually do, right now, in our own communities, that might make a difference. The first thing to understand is that domestic violence doesn’t look like what you think it looks like. We’re conditioned to imagine shouting matches, visible bruises, dramatic confrontations. But in rural communities especially, it often looks like isolation. It looks like someone who used to be social suddenly making excuses not to come to town. It looks like a neighbour whose partner always seems to answer the phone for them, or speaks on their behalf, or controls when and where they can go. It looks like someone who flinches when you make a sudden movement, or who’s always anxious about getting home by a certain time, or who’s stopped talking about their own plans and dreams and only ever talks about what their partner wants. If you’re reading this and thinking about someone specific, trust that instinct. Your gut is probably right. The second thing to understand is that asking someone directly if they’re okay is not overstepping. We’re so worried about being intrusive, about minding our own business, about not making things awkward. But you know what’s more awkward than asking if someone needs help? Attending their funeral and wishing you had. It doesn’t have to be confrontational. It can be as simple as saying you’ve noticed they seem stressed lately and asking if there’s anything you can do. It can be saying you’re worried about them. It can be letting them know that if they ever need to talk, or need a place to stay, or need help, you’re there. Plant that seed. Give them permission to reach out. Because often the hardest part for victims is believing that anyone would help them if they asked. The third thing, and this is crucial, is understanding that leaving an abusive relationship is the most dangerous time for victims. We love to ask why they don’t just leave, as if it’s that simple. But statistically, the period immediately after leaving is when violence escalates. When abusers lose control, they often become desperate and dangerous. So, if someone does confide in you, don’t push them to leave immediately. Support their timeline. Help them make a safety plan. Connect them with professionals who know how to navigate these situations safely. And speaking of professionals, let's talk about what resources actually exist in our region, because this information might save a life. The national domestic violence helpline, 1800RESPECT, operates 24 hours a day, every day. Counsellors are trained specifically in domestic violence situations and can help with safety planning, finding emergency accommodation, navigating legal options, and connecting people with local services. The call is free. It doesn’t show up on phone bills. You can call for someone else if you’re worried about them. For men who are struggling with anger, aggression, or controlling behaviours, the Men's Referral Service on 1300 766 491 provides confidential support and can help connect you with behaviour change programs. Recognising you need help isn’t weakness. Acting on it might save your family. In regional NSW, Women’s Domestic Violence Court Advocacy Services operate in many local courts and can help victims understand their legal options and navigate the system. Your local police station can connect you with these services. For immediate danger, always call 000. Police are increasingly trained in domestic violence response, and they can connect victims with crisis accommodation and support services. If you’re too scared to call from home, call from a neighbour's house, from work, from anywhere safe. But here’s where community really matters. Professional services are vital, but they can't be everywhere all the time. We can. We’re the ones who notice when our neighbour hasn’t been seen in weeks. We’re the ones who can offer to watch someone’s kids while they make a phone call in private. We’re the ones who can say yes when someone asks to leave a bag of important documents at our house, just in case. We’re the ones who can offer a spare room, no questions asked, at three in the morning. In small towns especially, everyone knows everyone’s business. That can be isolating for victims who fear judgement or gossip. But it can also be protective if we choose to use that knowledge wisely. If you know someone is in danger, check in regularly. A text message. A phone call. A visit. Make it normal and consistent so that if something goes wrong, you’ll notice the absence. And if you’re a business owner, consider becoming a Safe Space. Display the 1800RESPECT number. Train your staff to recognise signs of distress. Let it be known that if someone needs help, your business is a place they can ask. It costs nothing and it could save a life. For those of us with children, we have another responsibility. We need to teach our kids what healthy relationships look like. That nobody has the right to control another person. That love doesn’t hurt. That asking for help is brave, not weak. That they should never tolerate violence or abuse, and they should never inflict it. These conversations need to start early and continue throughout their lives. We also need to call out the casual misogyny, the controlling behaviours, the warning signs when we see them in our communities. That mate who’s always putting his partner down, monitoring her phone, deciding who she can see. That’s not normal. That’s not just how relationships work. And if we say nothing, we’re giving permission for it to continue and escalate. But beyond what we can do individually in our own communities, there are bigger systemic changes that need to happen, and we can make our voices heard on those too. Right now, Domestic Violence NSW is campaigning for a 50 per cent core funding increase for all specialist domestic and family violence services funded by the NSW Department of Communities and Justice. The current funding levels are appalling. Frontline workers are picking up excessive client loads at risk to their own wellbeing. They’re working unpaid overtime, fundraising on top of their paid work, and paying for food vouchers out of their own pockets. In 2024, NSW Police recorded over 100,000 domestic violence related crimes. Thirty-nine people were killed in domestic violence related murders in NSW alone. Services are turning women and children away because they simply don’t have the capacity. Turning someone away can literally mean the difference between life and death. You can make your voice heard by writing to your local members of parliament. For those of us in the Riverina and Central West, that's Michael McCormack MP, Member for Riverina, whose office is in Wagga Wagga. You can contact his office on 02 6921 4600 or write to him at Suite 2, 11-15 Fitzmaurice Street, Wagga Wagga NSW 2650. Tell him you want to see increased funding for domestic violence services. Tell him what happened in Lake Cargelligo cannot keep happening. For those in the Hay, Balranald, Carrathool, and Griffith areas, you’re in the federal electorate of Farrer, represented by Sussan Ley MP. Her Griffith office can be reached on 02 6962 6644 or you can write to her at 399 Banna Avenue, Griffith NSW 2680. Tell her that rural and regional domestic violence services are chronically underfunded and that needs to change. At the state level, write to Jodie Harrison MP, the NSW Minister for the Prevention of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault. You can contact her via the NSW Parliament at Parliament House, Macquarie Street, Sydney NSW 2000, or through the Department of Communities and Justice. Tell her you support Domestic Violence NSW's call for a 50 per cent funding increase. Tell her that the current commissioning process for domestic violence services needs to prioritise long term, stable funding so that services can actually plan and deliver consistent support. There are also active petitions you can sign and share. Ali Saoirse, a domestic violence shelter worker and survivor, has two major petitions on Change.org that have gained significant traction. One calls for a Royal Commission into violence against women in Australia. The other demands immediate and adequate funding increases for frontline domestic violence services. These petitions are specific, informed, and backed by years of research. Find them by searching "domestic violence Australia petition" on Change.org and add your voice. You can also support Domestic Violence NSW directly by sharing their "Fund a Safer Today" campaign for the 2026 to 27 NSW budget. Their submission to government outlines exactly what’s needed and why. Share it on social media. Talk about it with your friends and family. Make domestic violence funding a topic that politicians can’t ignore. The NSW Government did launch a new strategy in December 2025 called Building Better Responses, which is the state's first dedicated plan to address perpetrators of domestic violence. That's a positive step. But strategies mean nothing without adequate funding to implement them. The Men's Behaviour Change Programs that are supposed to help address violent behaviour are underfunded and have waiting lists. Crisis accommodation is full. Support workers are overwhelmed. We need both the strategy and the resources to make it work. Write letters. Sign petitions. Share information. Donate to domestic violence services if you can afford it. Attend community forums. Make noise. Politicians respond to pressure, and right now, there’s not enough pressure. We get outraged for a week after a tragedy like Lake Cargelligo, and then we move on. They’re counting on us moving on. Don't let them count on that anymore. The Lake Cargelligo tragedy will fade from the news cycle. The investigation will continue. The community will grieve. And eventually, life will return to something resembling normal. But it shouldn’t. Not completely. This should be a turning point where we decide that we’re done being helpless bystanders. Domestic violence thrives in silence and isolation. It depends on victims feeling like nobody will help them and abusers feeling like nobody will stop them. We can break both of those assumptions, but only if we're willing to be uncomfortable, to ask hard questions, to offer real help, to hold each other accountable, and to demand that our governments actually fund the services that save lives. You don't need to be a counsellor or a police officer or a social worker to make a difference. You just need to be a human being who gives a damn. Check on your neighbours. Believe people when they tell you something’s wrong. Offer practical help. Know the numbers to call. Speak up when you see warning signs. Teach your children better. Write to your MPs. Sign the petitions. Share the campaigns. Make domestic violence funding an election issue. Don’t let politicians off the hook with vague promises and insufficient resources. Because the next time this happens, and there will be a next time unless we change, we need to be able to look ourselves in the mirror and know we did everything we could. Three people died in Lake Cargelligo. We can’t bring them back. But we might be able to save the next three, or the next thirty, or the next three hundred, if we finally decide that awareness isn’t enough and it's time to actually act.So, what are you going to do? Today, this week, this month? Will you call a friend you’re worried about? Will you write to Michael McCormack or Sussan Ley or Jodie Harrison? Will you sign the petitions? Will you share information about domestic violence services? Will you donate? Will you volunteer? Will you speak up at the next community meeting and ask what your council is doing to support victims? Because doing nothing is a choice too, and it’s one that costs lives. EMERGENCY CONTACTSNational Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) Men’s Referral Service: 1300 766 491 Emergency: 000 Crime Stoppers: 1800 333 000 Lifeline: 13 11 14 NSW Mental Health Line: 1800 011 511 Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636.TAKE ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCEWrite to your Federal MP: Michael McCormack MP (Riverina) Phone: 02 6921 4600 Address: Suite 2, 11-15 Fitzmaurice Street, Wagga Wagga NSW 2650 Sussan Ley MP (Farrer - includes Hay, Balranald, Carrathool, Griffith) Phone: 02 6962 6644 Address: 399 Banna Avenue, Griffith NSW 2680 Write to the NSW Minister: Jodie Harrison MP, Minister for the Prevention of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault. Address: Parliament House, Macquarie Street, Sydney NSW 2000 Find petitions: Search domestic violence Australia petition on Change.org Support the campaign: Domestic Violence NSW ‘Fund a Safer Today’ 2026-27 Budget Submission Visit: dvnsw.org.au.
