It's so easy, and it makes you feel good - bake cupcakes, raise money, have a chat about mental health on R U Ok Day, September 12.

And you should feel good - every single person who draws attention to and normalises discussions about mental health should feel good for it.

These days, mental health is more discussed and taken into consideration than it ever has before.

Hold on, what am I talking about mental health in February for, September is a good 6/7 months away?

Have you ever asked someone if they're ok in February, or any of the 264 days which aren't R U Ok day?

If you have, have they ever said no?

It's often an automatic phrase spoken so many times a day - 'Hi, how are you?'

It's ALWAYS 'Good, you?' isn't it?

Other cultures do not say this.

Some countries and cultures do not even say hello unless they are going to get in an interaction with the other person.

Bowing, hand gestures, or slight nods are often used in these instances to convey greetings without the need for a verbal "how are you". 

Some European cultures like Hungary where a direct "how are you" might be considered too personal with strangers.

So, where did it become largely commonplace in our culture to do this?

Most would say because we care about how the other person is, but if the unspoken expectation of the answer to that question is 'Ok,' or 'Good, thanks,' is that really true?

What would you do if someone said 'No, I'm really struggling?'

I'm not saying that sitting down and asking the question with the desire for a real answer and getting that real answer is going to magically break ground or change and fix someone's life, but being ready to follow up is important.

If you ask "R U OK?" and someone says "no," it means they are not okay and are likely signaling that they want to talk about something that is bothering them.

Often, being brave enough to say actually no I'm really not ok takes a lot, and to be then fobbed off can make it much worse.

Like disclosing trauma or something like a sexual assault, if a person who has struggled so much with information they've kept inside for so long is met with incredulity or a negative response, they aren't likely to want to give that information out a second time, or seek help.

It is important to actively listen, offer support, and encourage them to share what's going on, while respecting their boundaries and asking how you can help. 

Don't rush them, simply be present and let them express their feelings without judgment. 

Ask open-ended questions such as "What's been going on?" or "Can you tell me a bit more about that?" can help them elaborate. 

Acknowledge their emotions with phrases like "That sounds tough" or "It's okay to feel that way". 

Ask if there's anything specific you can do to help, whether it's just being there to listen or suggesting professional resources if needed. 

Check in with them later to see how they are doing and if they need further support. 

Don't pressure them to talk if they don't want to.

Respect their boundaries and let them know you are available when they are ready.

If they express thoughts of self-harm or suicide, take immediate action and reach out to emergency services or a crisis hotline.

About ten years ago, I actually has a trusted friend tell me they did not know how to help, but let's go to the doctor together and I will be there with you. As hard as it is to admit you need help, or life is not perfect, in the right circumstances, sometimes a helping hand extended will be a helping hand accepted.

If you feel overwhelmed by the conversation, it's okay to suggest talking to another trusted person or professional. 

CASE HAY is a resource people in the district have at their disposal; to get the ball rolling, call 0428696248.

Lifeline provides 24-hour crisis counselling, support groups and suicide prevention services.

Call 13 11 14, text 0477 13 11 14 or chat online.

Suicide Call Back Service provides 24/7 support if you or someone you know is feeling suicidal. Call 1300 659 467.

Beyond Blue aims to increase awareness of depression and anxiety and reduce stigma. If you or a loved one need help, you can call 1300 22 4636, 24 hours/7 days a week or chat online.

MindSpot is a free telephone and online service for people with anxiety, stress, low mood or depression. It provides online assessment and treatment for anxiety and depression. MindSpot is not an emergency or instant response service. Call 1800 61 44 34.

Head to Health gives advice and will connect you to local mental health services. Call 1800 595 212.

MensLine Australia is a professional telephone and online counselling service offering support to Australian men. Call 1300 78 99 78, 24 hours/7 or chat online.

If you're feeling lonely:

FriendLine supports anyone who's feeling lonely, needs to reconnect or just wants a chat.

You can call them 7 days a week on 1800 424 287, or chat online with one of their trained volunteers. All conversations with FriendLine are anonymous.

There are also helplines available for people with different backgrounds or needs.

For young people who need mental health support, and their parents or carers:

Kids Helpline is Australia's only free 24/7 confidential and private counselling service specifically for children and young people aged 5 – 25. Call 1800 55 1800.

headspace provides free online and telephone support and counselling to young people 12 – 25 and their families and friends. Call 1800 650 890, or chat online.

For people with complex mental health issues:

SANE Australia provides support to anyone in Australia affected by complex mental health issues, as well as their friends, family members and health professionals.

Call 1800 187 263 or chat online.

Blue Knot Foundation Helpline is the National Centre of Excellence for Complex Trauma. It provides support, education and resources for the families and communities of adult survivors of childhood trauma and abuse. Call 1300 657 380.