Perhaps no Australian Christmas tradition generates more passion and controversy than the pavlova. It's not Christmas for my grandmother, Dawn, if she doesn't scoff down a hearty slice of Pavlova, and very little else.

Families guard their recipes like state secrets. Arguments about whether the perfect pavlova should be crunchy or chewy have ended friendships. And the ongoing Australia versus New Zealand dispute over who invented it continues to simmer.

Every family gathering includes at least one person who claims their pavlova is superior to everyone else's.

Comparisons are inevitable.

Criticism, even when constructive, is taken personally.

Some families have been known to hold informal pavlova competitions where everyone brings one and they are judged, leading to hurt feelings and passive aggressive comments that last until the following Christmas.

Then there is the transportation issue. Getting a delicate pavlova to Christmas lunch intact is an engineering challenge. People have developed elaborate systems involving boxes, cushions and stern warnings to drivers about speed bumps. Despite these precautions, arriving with a collapsed pavlova is a common Christmas disaster that some families never let you forget.

The decoration is another source of competition. Traditional pavlova purists insist on cream and passionfruit only. Others pile on every fruit imaginable, creating towering structures that are more architecture than dessert. Some experimental types have been known to add chocolate, caramel, or other controversial ingredients, leading to heated debates about what constitutes a "real" pavlova.

Store bought pavlovas are generally considered cheating, though some families have members who consistently produce disasters in the kitchen and are quietly encouraged to buy rather than bake. This must be done discretely, as admitting you bought your pavlova rather than made it can result in judgement and shame.

My favourite Christmas desserts are the ones my sister, Bec, makes. From perfect Oreo cheesecakes, berry cheesecakes to chocolate trifle, I am a sucker for a good dessert on Christmas.

What's your favourite Christmas dessert? Message me, tell me what and why - [email protected]